When I was in high school, I asked my Dad for permission to get my ears pierced.
My Dad said I can when I get married and my husband approves.
I’m twenty something now and my Dad asks why I’m not married.
My response, I’m don’t want to get my ears pierced.
Every single time…it happens every single time I see the sea. It’s like falling in love over and over again. Remember the charged fireflies in the air, colorful butterflies in the stomach, and the uncontrollable laughter at the silliest things? Every single time I’m face to face with the vastness, it somehow brings back memories of all that is good, great and powerful in one breath. One breath is all it takes but with each breath, it’s something new and exciting. It’s comparable to falling in love.
Love…
It’s such a strange word. It has so many definitions, connotations, applications, actions and thoughts. It makes illogical things logical, unreasonable decisions reasonable, and stupidity understandable. “All is fair in love…” means to justify unjustifiables yet “love isn’t everything”. Human connections thrive on, crave, live for and survive because of love. Love is gathered from friends, families and even from strangers regardless of status, gender, sexual orientation, belief, age, class or any other names to categorize human beings.
“Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, It does not boast, It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, It is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
We’ve all heard this verse in one way or another. I will be the first to admit that I hated this verse. I completely and utterly hated it because no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t patient, wasn’t kind, envied, boasted, and was proud. I dishonored others, was self-seeking, easily angered and kept records of wrongs. Though I tried not to, I delighted in evil and didn’t want to know the truth. I didn’t always protect, definitely didn’t always trust, hoped or persevered. I couldn’t be any of these things and I hated that I couldn’t for the people I loved (especially for this one person). I couldn’t then and still struggle now to push out an in inch of this Love. Then it hit me of just how much of an impossible standard this truly is… to expect us, human beings, drenched in imperfection to possess such perfect Love But I guess that’s the whole point…it wasn’t meant to be an expectation.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16.
This is the greatest sacrifice that showed us the perfect Love. Love that is patient enough to wait for us to take His kind offer, Love that doesn’t envy, boast and isn’t proud. Love that honors us, isn’t self-seeking, and is not easily angered. He washes away our sins and keeps no record of wrong. He doesn’t delight in evil and brings us truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Always….
And today of all days, was picked to celebrate this beginning.
Merry Christmas!!
Maybe it stems from culture though I’ve seen it in other cultures too. It is considered pretty stereotypical in so-called haute societies. However, humble upbringing is the proper term for me so that doesn’t apply. This thing is more common than some realize. It results in competitiveness and insecurities; funny because these two seems like an oxymoron. I don’t know where it’s from and I don’t want to play the psychobabble by blaming my mother. Guess at this point in life, where it’s from honestly doesn’t matter. If I like it, I keep it. If I don’t, I change it.
So what is “it”?
“It” is comparison. I compared myself to everyone for everything. Others were always prettier, smarter, cuter, sweeter, meaner, funnier, and even weirder (there’s more but have to use the word “more”). I think there was a time where I wanted to be weirder than everyone else. I think I’ve accomplished that. No, I’m not proud. Yes, the traces of weirdness still lingers.
Truth is I still inevitably compare. The only difference is that I don’t want to be them or to be like them. Not that I see more flaws than gifts in others, but because I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care…it sounds strangely pleasing in my head. ( And please don’t be ridiculous and take this statement to the extreme like my um, cough* cough* glad-we-don’t-live-together-ex roommate. ) The people I know are amazing. They are literally prettier, smarter, cuter, sweeter, meaner, funnier, and even weirder (etc . but with the word “more”). Now they inspire me. They inspire me to be better than who I am now. For that, I’m thankful. I’m thankful. I’m thankful….funny how being thankful washes away bitterness.
Another Year (a Mike Leigh film)
No, I did not read the plot described in the blue rebox. I honestly didn’t care. All I wanted was a movie with a nomination(s), I would have even gotten Paranormal Activity (I’m a scary cat – a complete understatement). I wiki-ed it after I watched the movie and Another Day was nominated for Best Original Screenplay and Best Supporting Actress (Lesley Manville) by the Academy Awards, won London Film Critics Circle Awards for Best British Actress (Lesley Manville) and was the official selection of the Cannes Film Festival, the Toronto Film Festival, and the New York Film Festival. It was also nominated by the British Academy Film Awards for something, won a thing from another place, and more nominations blah blah blah.
What is this movie about? It is a British film, if you haven’t picked that up yet. (and I’m thinking with a British accent now) The story is about a couple, Tom and Gerri (haha…), and their family and friends. That’s it. That is the synopsis of the entire movie. No real climax, no real character change, and no real beginning, middle and end…arguably. A movie or motion picture is by definition the telling of a story through series of pictures. So this movie has a story by definition. Maybe it’s because there are so many “arguable” parts that make this movie so notable?
Anyways, the movie is slow. I wondered off to Facebook several times and still kept up with it. It’s strange actually. The movie is intense, it’s chilling, and it’s absolutely well made. The main characters individually are complex, the relationships and interactions are intricate and the movie itself is profound. Maybe that is why it was nominated. I am trying not to give away the movie in hopes of someone taking a stab on one boring night. (I look forward to these discussions) I appreciate that Redbox isn’t completely filled with only mainstream movies or children sing-alongs.
On a side note, LIMITLESS was pretty bad! What a waste of my dollar. Geesh.
When I was in high school, I asked my Dad for permission to get my ears pierced.
He said I can when I get married and my husband approves.
I’m twenty something now and my Dad asks why I’m not married.
My response, I’m not interested in getting my ears pierced.
